


Why the fuck are you writing smut in a bush?!

by irumemes



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, New Dangan Ronpa V3: Everyone's New Semester of Killing
Genre: F/F, Iruma Miu Being Iruma Miu, Kaemiu, Lesbos, Unfinished, fuck school and exams i just wanna write irumatsu the uk government can suck my ass, gay akamatsu kaede, gay iruma miu, i cant tag opsie, irumatsu is life, irumatsu is love, kaede also writes smut, kaede ships sakuhina, like me, lol, me being a slut for irumatsu, miu watches porn hehe, miu's stepdad is a wanker, my fucking otp, pregame au, they fucking meet in a bush, they gay, this is kinda lewd hehe, why tho, wrote this ages ago
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-28
Updated: 2019-06-01
Packaged: 2020-03-26 07:33:13
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19001230
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/irumemes/pseuds/irumemes
Summary: Pregame Irumatsu AU: Miu discovers Kaede in a bush after she hears her make sexual noises while she's spraypainting dicks everywhere because its Miu





	1. Chapter 1

(why did i fucking write this i hate myself)

~Miu Iruma POV~

It was just a normal day for her when Miu decided to go to the park. Her stepdad was being a dickhead again and getting drunk, so she wasn't gonna deal with that at home.

Yeah, her home life really wasn't that great. Honestly, her mother chose the worst fucking boyfriends, and this one was absolute dick cheese. He was just never sober, which also made him an abusive asshole. Miu never liked to be at home anymore because of him, so more often than not, she was at the park, smoking or just setting stuff on fire.

She sat on a rusty swing in the playground, bored. There was no one else around, but she wouldn't wanna talk to them anyway.

Now, what to do? thought the strawberry blonde. Hmm, why not do some creative art to calm my huge ass fuckin temper? Hell yeah!

Miu giggled to herself as she spotted a long row of cars in the parking lot. Perfect. She took out her new can of pink spraypaint and snorted softly. Those fuckers were in for a shock alright..

She put the hood of her hoodie up to cover her face and distinctive wild hair, shook the can in her hand and grinned. The strawberry blonde worked her way through the row of cars quickly proceeded to draw a large dick on each of them, with worryingly detailed ball hair.

Miu couldn't surpress her laughter anymore and snorted loudly, eventually bellowing out peals of laughter. There was no one around that she could see, so the strawberry blonde just laughed at her crime without a care in the world.

But then Miu heard a sound. And a pretty weird one at that..

She thought it sounded like a moan. Not like a grumpy moan, like someone was annoyed, but.. the other kind. The.. hot kind. And it sounded like it came from a girl, as well. Miu blushed deeply.

So someone else was here? And damn enjoying themselves if they were. Now, where did that moan come from? Miu shivered in excitement as her dirty mind raced through the other times she'd heard that sound. Unfortunately for her, it had only been from..

Never mind. Miu shook her head vigorously. She didn't wanna think about that.

~Kaede Akamatsu POV~

Oh. God.

Kaede blushed deeply and covered her face in her hands. She couldn't run away now, could she? For fucks sake, she was in a bush. Writing danganronpa fan fiction. Again. Her siblings would always try to read her shit at home, so she liked to go outside and write.

She also happened to see a damn hot girl wearing a hoodie over her school uniform spraypaint dicks on cars, which she struggled not to laugh at. Kaede didn't see her face, but wow, she had a nice body. She had big boobs and long legs, and such a cute ass. Kaede couldn't take her eyes off her for a second.

And now she'd moaned really loudly because she'd been sat on her phone and it started vibrating when one of her sisters tried to call her. At the sudden intense vibrations on her clit, Kaede couldn't help but moan at such a pleasuring sensation. Goddamn it, thought Kaede, as she realised her panties were soaked.

Kaede panicked at what to do, her mind shooting through rapid, badly thought out ideas. She knew the mysterious hot girl had heard her, since she was pacing the car park, looking for where the sound had come from.

The shy blonde realised that the best idea was probably to just stay in the bush and hope the hot girl didn't find her. Yeah, that was probably the best option for her. Kaede closed her eyes and tucked up into a ball, wishing the girl didn't find her in such a pathetic state.

Kaede didn't have many friends at school. She didn't like to be around the obnoxious, 'popular' crowd, so she usually just went to the library by herself to write fanfiction, or to the music room to try and teach herself piano.

The one thing that really made her happy was her love of danganronpa. She loved it obsessively. It was just so good! All the plot twists and turns, the victims, the killers, all the crazy masterminds and traitors, all the hot waifus.... She loved it all.

Kaede suddenly gasped as she realised the mysterious girl had started to head towards the bush. Oh FUCK, thought Kaede. WHAT DO I DO??

But she didn't think fast enough, because the mysterious girl was already there.

'Hey, who the fuck is in there?'

Kaede's eyes widened as she realised this was the voice of Miu Iruma, one of the hottest girls at her school. Of course! Kaede mentally kicked herself. Ugh, why didn't I recognise that ass?

~Miu Iruma POV~

After she asked who was in the bush, Miu noticed the silhouette of a girl behind it. Her eyes widened. She dove frantically into the bush, desperate to find out who was there and what she'd seen... and why she made.. that noise.

The strawberry blonde overestimated the thickness of the bush though, and pushed it a little too roughly. Miu let out a squawk as she realised she'd just landed on the girl inside..

'A-aah!' squeaked the other girl in fear.

Miu's eyes widened as she realised her hand was pushing on the other girl's soft, and actually pretty large chest.

'S-sorry!' Miu blushed, looking away. She backed up off the girl and then recognised her.

It was Kaede Akamatsu! One of the shy girls at her school who always seemed to be alone. She was a lot hotter than the other shy girls though, thought Miu. Well damn, this is awkward..

Miu realised that next to Kaede was an open laptop. Her eyes widened as she thought what Kaede might have been looking at. Miu turned the laptop to her but it wasn't.. porn. There was a wattpad document open that was titled 'Sakuhina Oneshots'.

'What's a Sakuhina?' Miu said out loud.

Kaede was initially shocked at having Miu land right on top of her, but her fanfic writer instincts kicked in as she realised Miu was about to read her private smut she was writing. FUCK, thought Kaede.

The shy blonde screamed and snatched the laptop back from Miu, who had started to read her creation.

'T-that's private!' squealed Kaede, backing up, clutching her laptop to her chest.

'Oh.. sorry, hah.. I didn't think..' Miu blushed and looked at the floor.

And then her common sense finally kicked in, replacing her horny thoughts for a second.

'Umm.. why are you in a bush? Making.. uhh.. noises?' Miu asked Kaede, still blushing deeply and looking at the floor, not confident enough to make eye contact with such a hot ass girl. And she'd touched her boobs as well.. Miu quivered.

'W-what do you mean, noises?' Kaede couldn't look Miu in the eye either. She was still embarrassed, (well secretly pretty happy) that Miu had just got a feel.

'Awh come on, bitch, you moaned so fucking loudly. I mean, huh, I'm kind of an exhibitionist myself, but jerking it in a bush? That's pretty fuckin questionable.'

Kaede squeaked again.

'I-I swear I wasn't doing THAT! Uh.. I have an explanation.. one of my sisters tried to call me and I was sat on my phone, and it uhh.. vibrated.. and..' Kaede blushed even redder this time, her eyes fixated in the ground.

Miu blushed too, her filthy mind thinking about Kaede, and.. vibrations.

'O-o-oh, yeah.. damn.. I mean oh, er, that's awkward, hah.. well, so what are you d-doing?' awkwardly stuttered Miu. She angrily reprimanded herself. It wasn't like her to be timid! She needed to be strong and confident.

'Umm.. well I guess I can't deny it now.. I was writing danganronpa fanfiction.. p-please don't tell anyone!' Kaede finally made eye contact with Miu, her violet orbs begging Miu to keep her secret.

'What's danganronpa? Can I read?' Miu was interested.

'NO! Erm.. I mean.. it isn't finished yet.. please don't, Iruma-san..'

'Looks like you're getting pretty defensive over that huh? It must be dirty, right, Akamatsu-san?' Miu giggled at Kaede's embarrassed face, trying to forget how embarrassed she was herself.

Kaede suddenly stopped squirming with embarrassment and slowly sat up in shock.

'Iruma-san.. y-you know my name? But I'm so.. isolated, how do you know who I am?'

Now it was Miu's turn to squirm.

'WHAT?! Umm.. I dunno! Y-you ain't anything special.. and your gross tits are small as fuck! Argh!' Miu covered her face in embarrassment, not really knowing what to do. She knew, deep down, that she shouldn't try to let Kaede come into her mess of a life. But she so desperately wanted to let her in.. she didn't know what to do at all.

Kaede was at first hurt, but then realised when Miu crouched into a ball.. there was a very wet patch on her panties.. Kaede grinned. She didn't know why Miu was saying mean shit to her, but she knew she definitely wasn't repulsed by her..


	2. IS THAT A DILDO???

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> more terribly written pregame kaemiu lewd shit

~Kaede Akamatsu POV~

Kaede grinned, while Miu hid her face in her hands, quivering.

'If my tits are so small and gross, then.. why are you so wet?' Kaede whispered the last word right into Miu's ear, turning her on even more.

'Heeeeeeee!' squealed Miu, the damp patch on her panties spreading further across her pussy. Kaede giggled. That's why Miu reacted that way, perhaps. She's irrelevant, sure, but Miu must find her pretty hot to react this way.

Miu groaned. 'P-PLEASE DONT TELL!' she looked at Kaede, her eyes scared.

'As long as you don't spread my secret, I won't tell everyone that rebellious Iruma Miu-san actually gets off to nerdy Kaede Akamatsu.' smiled Kaede.

'I WON'T! I PROMISE! AAAH.. ARE YOU PSYCHIC OR SOMETHING?!' shrieked Miu.

Oh damn, she actually gets off to me.. I only said that as a joke, woah. But.. that's pretty amazing that such a hot girl likes me like that.. I'm actually pretty honoured, but I won't tell her now.

'Nah, just guessing,' laughed Kaede. Fuck, she was glad she got it right, would've been awkward if not.

All of a sudden they heard a shout, uncomfortably near to them.

'WHAT THE HELL IS THIS ON MY CAR?!'

'Fucking run!' Miu whispered to Kaede, terrified.

'Bitch WHERE?!' Kaede hissed back. 'WE'RE IN A BUSH, IRUMA-SAN!'

'FUCK SHIT BOLLOCKS, TIME TO DIE!' 

The two useless lesbians tried to push their way out of the bush but the branches just kept hitting them in the face and further pissing them off.

'Oh for fucks sake.' Miu reached into her cleavage and pulled out a weird looking pointy machine that looked suspiciously like.. 

'IRUMA?! IS THAT A DILDO?' Kaede hissed in confusion.

'IT CAN FUNCTION AS ONE, ILL PROBABLY USE IT LATER, BUT FOR NOW ITS GONNA HELP US YEET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE FOR NOW, BAKAMATSU.'

Without warning Miu wrapped her arms around Kaede, (making her blush because G A Y) and pressed the red button on the side of the dildo. 

Kaede's eyes widened as an umbrella looking thing popped out of the top of the dildo and an engine-like noise was emitted from it.

'WHAT THE-' 

Before Kaede could even question it, her and Miu were transported upwards and out of the bush, the umbrella thing seemed to have some kind of engine which was making them fly. Kaede clung on tight to Miu, scared shitless.

'B-b-bakamatsu?' Miu squirmed and blushed as she looked at Kaede, who was still clinging on to her with dear life.

'Y-yes?' squeaked Kaede, terrified of being in the air.

'AAAAH!' Miu suddenly screamed as they began to descend without warning.

'SHIT!' screamed Kaede, her and Miu both screaming and closing their eyes, bracing themselves for impact-

SPLASH!

The two girls instinctively let go of each other as they found themselves suddenly in water. Kaede gasped for air as she reached the surface, and then realised they had landed in a nearby river.

Damn, how far did we actually go? I was just concentrating on not pissing myself, thought Kaede.

'BJBKJNKJBKBBL!' 

Kaede turned around and saw Miu struggling in the water, bubbles frantically rising to the surface as she thrashed about in the water.

'Iruma-san!' Kaede immediately swum over to Miu and grabbed her shoulders, trying to keep her afloat.

'I- can't- fucking-- swim-!' gasped Miu, clinging on to Kaede, desperately trying to keep her head out of the water.

It definitely took them a while, but after a few good minutes of Miu screaming and thrashing while Kaede tried to get them both to the riverbank without dying, she finally achieved her goal. Miu flopped onto the shore like a fish out of water, Kaede following behind, both of them panting heavily.

After they both caught their breath and got most of the weeds out of Miu's hair, Kaede asked,

'What were you trying to tell me before, Iruma-san?'

'O-oh.. nothing, you were just, uh.. squishing me a bit is all,' Miu blushed.

'A-anyway!' she announced loudly, trying to desperately change the subject. 'My laptop and phone are well and truly dead, so uh.. any ideas? You seem to know a fair bit about technology, having made that dildo and all.'

'The multiuse rod 4200 is not a mere 'dildo',' growled Miu. 'But yeah sure, I can fix up your shit if you want, since you saved my fuckin' life I guess.'

Kaede grinned, 'Thank you so much, Iruma-san!'

Miu winced. 'Y'know.. just call me Miu.'

'Ok, Miu-san!'

'Fuck honorifics. Ah, never mind, get your ass to my place and I'll fix your shit. Deal?'

'Sounds great!' smiled Kaede. Fuck yeah! She was going to Miu's!

'And uhhh.. we're both kinda drenched..'

'You don't say. Surely you have spare clothes back at yours?'

'Y-yeah..'

The two stupid lesbians continued to chatter as Miu led Kaede back to her house.

(sorry that this is kinda short and badly written, im a spastic twunt)


End file.
